Coffee

As you all know, I like my coffee. Getting coffee in the US that meets my (and indeed most Australian's) standards is challenging unless you are happy with the extensive menu of over-sugared, multi-flavored, beverages in giant vessels which bear almost no relation to coffee as we know it.

I'm sitting in Au Bon Pain and I asked for a latte with an extra shot, but in the small cup. She says 'I'm sorry, but we only serve lattes in this cup' and pulls out a vessel that the lotto balls might be mixed in before dropping out the winning number. I asked 'why can't I get it in the small cup?' 'Oh, (you poor Australian idiot), because it screws up the settings.' Settings? Now I now these poor girls are to some extent institutionalised by the minutes of training they've endured to achieve the lofty position of barista in a fast food chain, and McDonalds showed years ago how any service process can be reduced to an automated process at the expense of taste, but it took another minute of explaining the concept of how coffee can actually be made in concentrations other than milk with coffee colouring, plus me signing a release form agreeing not to hold Au Bon Pain or its employees responsible if, due to the changes that I have requested, I did not find my experience enjoyable today. I signed the form and had it witnessed by the person behind me in what had become a line stretching out the door, into the rain. Right, now could I just get a plain croissant, but I don't want all the jams or cheeses on it, just butter...

Should be 'oh what pain'